T.M.I. (too much information)

I must be bored. I've spent the last four days doing nothing but internet browsing, photo editing, and familiarizing myself with my new mac. Quick game: Who can identify the common thread between these three things? Give it a try...it's not a difficult answer. Correct answer (backwards): retupmoc.

That's right, I've been at this computer, staring at this screen for endless hours. Why? I'm not quite certain. Perhaps it has something to do with the wealth of information readily available at the touch of the keypad. And being a good Taylor U. "life-long learner," I just can't help myself. So, what kind of information am I gathering? With a new fantasy football season on the horizon, the Beckhams recent stateside arrival, or the new NBA referee gambling scandal, there are many attractive choices...yet...I've found myself reading theology blogs. For my own disbelief, let me state that again: I've spent hours upon hours reading blogs, articles, letters, and yes, even watching interviews on YouTube of the latest theological controversies and fads. And let me tell you, this stuff is fascinating. Chuck Colson and Brian McLaren exchanging letters about postmodern relativism and conservative, evangelical absolutism; a mega-church pastor arrogantly arguing his reformed rhetoric in his attempt to become the "next best thing" in evangelical Christian leadership; or searching Wikipedia for the emerging church, propositional truth, antinomianism, metanarrative, and systematic theology to name a few. The vast array of thoughts, perspectives, and outcries of "he's a heretic!" is quite overwhelming.

What I have realized is that I really have no clue. It's comfortable figuring everything out with absolute certainty - there's no more need for frustrating doubts about the nature of God or moral questions about the way I or others should live our life. Ultimately, fear is replaced by a glorious and complete knowledge of the truth. This is what God wants, isn't it? American, 20th century, evangelical, conservative Christians with Western ideologies who read their Bible everyday, go to church every Sunday, pray before every meal, don't smoke cigarettes, and possibly have an occasional alcoholic beverage every now and then (but only in moderation, of course). Oh, and let's not forget vote Republican and talk to somebody at work about Jesus if the subject comes up. We have everything figured out and if we follow this formula, we'll be just fine - certainly, heaven awaits us.

Or maybe it's fear that keeps me in that place of comfort. What happens if I step outside of my six-point sermon, my latest Christian lifestyle self-help book, or my closely gathered community of Christian friends. What becomes of me if I consider a different perspective of Scripture, or perhaps acknowledge the many filters or lenses with which I read and interpret - filters that have nothing to do with the historical Jesus or the ultimate reality of God - lenses that only hinder my ability to correctly ascertain Truth. What will others think of me if I question the typical Christian code of acceptable morality, or if I stop fighting the culture wars? Isn't it interesting how we choose our hot topics of homosexuality or sanctity of life, but we quickly and severely neglect the hungry, the poor, and the oppressed. We are outraged at the dismantling of the family unit because of the liberal homosexuality agenda, while the prevalence of adultery and divorce is simply considered unfortunate. Smoking is evil primarily because of the harmful affects on the body, but I've never been chastized for indulging in 3/4 lb. bacon cheeseburgers, fries, and a large milkshake, not to mention the addictive god of caffeine...but selective moralism is beside the point...

How have we ended up like this? Why do we so presumptuously defend "the truth" of our culture-ridden Christianity? What does God want to say to all of us?

I just don't know anymore. I know I don't want to go back to that "Christianity" but I don't know what the True Christianity is. I have so many cultural obstacles in the way that I'm skeptical if I'll ever know. "The answers are in the Bible," many would argue. My response questions the validity of our "objective" interpretations; how else could there be so many conflicting doctrines of well-intentioned Christ-followers, not only now, but throughout the history of the church?

The one thing that is certain - God is shrouded in mystery. And maybe this is where he should stay. He's bigger now than He's ever been. There is no box that can contain him, and Calvin's 5 points don't explain Him. He is God the Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer and I am overwhelmingly grateful that it rests in His hands and not mine.

In the end, I suppose I'm just another restless man in process...

...and this post was probably t.m.i......