Pleasure Reading is Over...

Today, I began reading for school.

I love to read, but I'm not always fond of someone dictating what I read. So, I've spent the last few weeks reading some good books of my choice - probably the last books of my choice for the next three years...! The sheer volume of reading material required for my program will most likely not leave time for much else.

Since our trek to Seattle, I've had the pleasure of turning the pages of The Great Gatsby, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Night by Elie Wiesel...and now, the end has come...

I wish I could continue pulling books of my shelf, but alas, I must reach into the tote bag I received from the Mars Hill bookstore and commence the 3-year journey of subjecting myself to the will of others.

Open Theism scriptures - a response to a posted comment

First, Scriptural support is a very tricky thing because interpretation is not always as black and white as what is on the page (or as what our pastor preaches). We are deeply affected by culture, language, experiences, etc. So much that our reading of Scripture will always be distorted. Maybe I'll share more about these thoughts tomorrow...This being said, I share the passages below with the cautious attitude that interpretation is precarious. For me, these passages serve to generate questions more than provide answers.

Second, let me clarify that this is not necessarily my point of view. I do, however, feel myself resonating with many of the ideas concerning the nature of the future.

Third, this theology is complex. Boyd's "short" primer is still 169 pages. My blog is significantly less. Please understand that I cannot fully explain the nuances of this theology in short and simple terms.

So, if you think I'm off-track because my Biblical support is not sufficient, please read something other than this blog. I never intended to make anyone think like me; I'm just sharing some of the thoughts I wrestle with.

Before beginning, ask yourself this: If God did change his mind and some of the future was partially open to him, how would he let us know that this was the case? Perhaps one response would be: He would tell us in Scripture.

Boyd remarks that I Kings 20 sparked his first questions about the nature of the future. In this passage, God sends Isaiah to inform Hezekiah that he is "going to die; you will not recover." Hezekiah then prays to God, and God responds by sending Isaiah back to Hezekiah. "This is what the Lord...says: I have heard your prayer....I will add fifteen years to your life."
1) Was God sincere when he told Hezekiah he was going to die?
2) If He was, how could we not believe that God then changed his mind?
3) How could God truly change his mind in response to a prayer if the prayer he was responding to was forever in his mind?
4) How could the Bible say that God "added" 15 years to his life if God was certain that he was going to live those years all along?
(these questions are all paraphrased to some degree from Boyd)

Clarification: the open view does not suggest that "all" of the future is open to God as possibilities (this would be defined as "process theology"). The open view suggests that "some" of the future is open while "some" remains determined or settled.

There are plenty of passages to support that the future is settled to God, but equal weight should be given to passages like the following:

Gen. 6:6 - "The Lord was "grieved" that he had made man on the earth." - Can God grieve over something he eternally foreknew would happen?

Num.14:11 - God asks Moses, "How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse...?"
Hos. 8:5 - "How long will they be incapable of purity?"
- These two could be rhetorical questions, but that's left for interpretation to decide. Many people that take the Bible "literally" would choose to say here that these are not literal questions that God is asking...convenient...

Is. 5:2,4 - The vineyard yielded "bad fruit" although God expected good fruit. "What more could have been done...? why did it yield only bad?"

Jer. 3:7 - "I thought that after she had done all this she would return to me but she did not..." It seems like Israel "not" returning was unexpected to God (if we take this literally). How could it be unexpected if he already foreknew their response?
Again in Jer. 3:19 - "I thought you would call me Father and not turn away...you have been unfaithful...."

Jer. 7:31; 19:5; 32:35 - Israel's behavior was other than God commanded, "nor did it enter my mind." At the very least, this suggests that God did not determine their actions. How could it never enter his mind, but also eternally be in his mind that they would do this??

Ex. 4:10-15 - God becomes angry at Moses for refusing to speak. If God always knew this would be Moses response, why would he then get angry when Moses refused?

Ezek. 22:30-31 - The Lord looked for a man among them who would stand up and build the wall, but he didn't find anyone. Why would God look for someone that he eternally knew would not answer?

Jonah 3:10 - "he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened." What? Are his threats empty? I don't think so. Maybe he literally threatened them and because of his compassion, he changed his mind. If he foreknew that he would have compassion, why did he threaten them in the first place???

At this point, if I'm attempting to refute open theism, I'm beginning to make some accomodations to my "literal" interpretations (evangelicals love to pride themselves on their "literal" and "the Bible says it" interpretations)...

If you really want more biblical support, read these passages (or read Boyd's book):
Ex. 32:14; 33:1-3,14; Deut. 9:13-29; 1 Kings 21:21-29; 2 Chr. 12:5-8; Jer. 26:2-3; Ez. 4:9-15; Amos 7:1-6 - and there's more in the book (that is, both the Bible and Boyd's)

The first passages aren't more important. I just happened to see those first. And I stopped because I needed to go to work.

Infinite Actuality of Love, part 2

To have any fair and complete metaphysical discussion, you have to back up to some foundational level. A great place to begin is the question, "Why is there something, rather than nothing?" ...let that one sink in for a while.. :)

One historical Christian response is the Infinite Actuality of Love. We exist because of Love. And God's love has always and will always be actualizing itself. Of course, many would argue against this answer, but to have any discussion, you have to begin somewhere, and I'm going to proceed with this as my foundational presupposition. God is love, and therefore must actualize his love in some way.

Freedom is also at the heart of the discussion, and as I mentioned in the previous post, Open Theology answers the evangelical questions about the nature of our freedom and the suffering resulting from the freedom we've been given.

But the problem with evangelicalism, open theology, modernism, and capitalism is that our definition of freedom rests on the ideal that the highest level of freedom is the "freedom of choice." We are most free when we have the choice to decide what we will do with our freedom. Will we decide to do good or to do harm?

But what if there was another definition of freedom that could be more ideal?

Again, let's back up. One complication with our metaphysics is that we don't understand the synthesis between the supreme "will" and supreme "intellect." And because it's difficult to fuse the two, we inevitably position one above the other. When the "will" becomes superior without any guiding intellect or principle to guide it, the will then becomes wholly arbitrary. This arbitrary will then has the freedom to "choose" whatever it pleases. Sound familiar?

Our evangelical presuppositions, without thinking about it, have defined the ideal of freedom as the "freedom of choice," a philosophy based upon thoughts of a supreme being acting wholly on an arbitrary will, with no guiding principle or intellect.

(I haven't thought much about a superior intellect without the will, but this is beside the point right now.) When the intellect and will are synthesized, however, the will can be guided by a principle. This is what could be defined as the infinite actuality of love. God has always and will always be acting wholly according to a superior principle - love.

The logical conclusion to this understanding is that we find the highest ideal of freedom only when we are acting according to God's love. And because love is what resulted in something rather than nothing, it also follows that anything outside of his love is essentially nothing, or non-existent.

So, the issue of choice still remains - harmful human choices which result in atrocious sufferings around the world.

God's will and intellect could also be defined or described as authority, and two types of authority exist. The authority of constraint and the authority of appeal. The authority of constraint simply stated, is rules based, e.g. our governing authorities insist that we stop at a red traffic light. The authority of appeal, on the other hand, is founded by the freedom given to choose what authority will be followed. An appeal is made, and it is either accepted or rejected. Our experience tells us that love is never granted from the authority of constraint. It is, however, sometimes bestowed upon someone or something from the authority of appeal. God, our ultimate authority, appealed to us through his son Jesus Christ, that we may accept or deny his appeal. Love, the authority of appeal, necessitates the freedom of choice be granted to humanity.

But where modern evangelicalism falls short today is in the misunderstanding that our freedom is found here in its highest form.

Love, the guiding principle of the supreme intellect is infinitely actualized by the supreme will, and we are granted the opportunity, because of love, to live within the freedom which is love. In other words, we are most free when we are living according to his love.

Unfortunately, many of us choose to live outside of that love and the inevitable result is human suffering.

In the midst of the suffering, however, God is always and will always be appealing to us to live within the freedom which is his love.

In his will and in his intellect - in his very essence, he is the infinite actuality of love.

Infinite Actuality of Love, part 1

Warning and Disclaimer: Long theology post ahead. Some may be bored by this post, or even utterly abhor it, but hey, this is my blog and this is the stuff I think about when I'm not updating my fantasy football roster... :)
(In case you missed it, there was intended irony in that statement.)

Recently, I've found myself interested in "Open Theology." Open theology states that the future is partly settled (or determined) by God, but it is also partly "open" to God. God does not know most of the future in any certainties; it is only known to him in possibilities. In other words, God does not know exactly what I will do this evening, although he does know every possibility of things that I "may" do this evening.

On a more complicated level, Open Theology exists to help explain issues such as evil and suffering. If God knew evil would exist when he created the world, the open theist wonders, is he partly responsible for it? For example, if I own a pit bull that I'm certain will attack a nearby child, and I voluntarily release it from the chain, most would agree that I would be partly responsible for the child's injuries. This idea of responsibility, which is the logical conclusion to an "all-determining" God, contradicts the evangelical view of an "all-loving" God. And therein the problem lies - If God is all-powerful, all-loving, all-good, how can he permit the atrocities in our world to continue???

So, open theology simply suggests that God does not know. Quickly, evangelical alarms are raised and the "defenders of truth" shout that open theology is heresy because it "limits" an omniscient and omnipotent God!

However, this argument is easily side-stepped because open theology does not in any way question the nature of God's omniscience or omnipotence. The discussion is not about God himself; it is a discussion about the nature of the future.

Does the future exist as a reality to be known? Can the future free actions of free agents be known before their free decisions are made? Open Theists contend that God cannot know our future free actions because our future free actions do not exist as an object to be known. Foreknowledge of future free actions, therefore, becomes a self-contradictory statement. Can God make a 4-sided triangle? No. If he did, it would cease to be a triangle. Could he make a married bachelor? No. Again, if the man is wedded, he ceases to be a bachelor - they are self-contradictory concepts. If God foreknows our future free actions, they would cease to be "free."

So, why can God not foreknow our future free actions? Let me use this analogy:
If God foreknows that I am going to cheat on my 2010 tax return, then this is information that he has always known, from the beginning of eternity. At any point in history, therefore, he could reveal to humankind, perhaps in some book titled, "Troy's Future Actions" everything I will ever do, including cheating on my 2010 tax return. Let's say that he reveals this book to humanity in the year 2005. And let's say that I had the opportunity to peruse this book during that year. I would see that God foreknows that I will cheat on my taxes 5 years later. What am I supposed to think about this? I read that God is telling me I will cheat in 2010. I wonder to myself, "Do I have any choice? Can I change this? Can I "not" cheat on my taxes that year?" If I do decide to be honest on my tax return, then God's foreknowledge was wrong; therefore, I must cheat on my taxes to affirm God's foreknowledge. And if I "must" cheat to affirm his foreknowledge, then I do not have a choice in the matter. I have to cheat. My freedom of choice has been taken away.

So, with the future free actions of free moral agents now "open" to God as possibilities, we see that before creation, God knew that with our freedom of choice, the possibility (not the certainty) existed that we may choose something other than Him. So, when genocide occurs in Rwanda, AIDS devastates Uganda, the US goes to war with Iraq, and I can't sell my house even though many people are praying for God to act, and even more, trusting in His goodness to take care of us, we cannot blame God for the continuation of human suffering. They are a necessary condition to the freedom of choice he has given us. People choose sin and as a result, other people suffer.

Open Theology also deals with the scriptural evidence of God changing his mind as a result of unknown future actions of free moral agents, the power of prayer, and the fact that some of the future must be partly determined, e.g. Jesus will return one day and we will join him in heaven. Some liken the future as a highway, travelling in one particular direction, with the vehicles on the highway free to drive as they choose. There are many nuances of open theology - too many to discuss here, but Greg Boyd's "The God of the Possible" is a great place to start for a short primer.

I have found some relief in Open Theology's answers. However, as I have recently been made aware, Open Theology only exists as an answer to evangelical philosophical presuppositions, most of which may be off-track in and of themselves. From an evangelical perspective, Open Theology can sufficiently explain some of our deepest questions.

But the metaphysical problems of the evangelical perspective still remain...

...and of course, I could be wrong about all of this :)

First day (or night!) of work

My employment at UPS began last night with several hours of in-class instruction. I was impressed by the efficiency of their operations, and it's more complicated than I originally thought.
After class, our instructor asked me to stay for a few minutes as the other 7 newbies left for home. After telling me to have a seat, he asked, "Tell me Troy, why is it you're here at UPS?"
I was sort of confused - was he thinking I was a pansy and wouldn't be able to handle the labor?
The best bet always being honesty, I responded, "I need part-time work while I'm in school and the benefits and tuition assistance are too good to pass up."
"I've been teaching these classes for awhile now," he said, "and every once in a while, someone like you comes in."
"Where is he going with this?" I thought to myself. "Is he ready to fire me already because my reasons are too parasitic?"
"I'm going to need you in some areas," he explained, "not that everyone else in the class isn't capable, but I can tell that you'll be able to move up quickly. Are you OK with that?"

Crazy. I was only there for four hours. I barely spoke. And I'm already poised for a promotion. Good thing too, because the hours will be closer to 20 (rather than 25-30) and the physical requirements are a lot less strenuous.

This job may not be too bad after all.

Les Mis

"The pupil dilates in the night and at last finds day in it, even as the soul dilates in misfortune, and at last finds God in it." - Victor Hugo in Les Miserables

I have never read a more soul-stirring piece of literature than Les Miserables. Nearing the end of the book, I remember reading each line a little slower than the last; I couldn't bear for it to end. I stayed awake late into the night and cried as the story of beauty and redemption concluded. These were not characters on a page. They had become friends, and as I neared the end, I knew they would soon be lost from my life forever, with only my memories to keep them near.

It was strange. I had never been so affected by a book, but this was no ordinary piece of fiction - Hugo's masterpiece was poetry.

My thoughts turned to Les Mis after I was recently reminded (by a friend's comment on this blog) of Jean Valvean, the story's protagonist, and it was not long before the book was off my shelf. As I paged through some of my favorite excerpts, I decided to share a few lines for your edification and enjoyment:

"He looks at humanity so much that he sees the soul, he looks at creation so much that he sees God."

"Those who pray always are necessary to those who never pray."

"To dare; progress is at this price. All sublime conquests are, more or less, the rewards of daring....Deeds of daring dazzle history, and form one of the guiding lights of men. The dawn dares when it rises."

"The soul which loves and which suffers is in the sublime state."

"Of all the things which God has made, the human heart is that which sheds most light, and, alas! most night."

"The heavy masses, the multitudes, fragile on account of their very weight, dread uncertainties; and there is uncertainty in the ideal."

Home, Sweet Home

Title Bout

I'm having a debate over which is better:
1) Jack Bauer and his counter-terrorist bad-self on the series "24"

or
2) Blockbuster's Total Access free two-week trial which lets me watch Kiefer and Co. for free

The Interview

I've never filled out a job application that asked if I "[had] the ability to read labels."
And I was shocked to discover, as the H.R. rep put it, that "our young supervisors are 19 or 20."
This of course, precipitated a follow-up question from me, "So, what's the general age of the older supervisors?"
"Early thirties."
"So, if I moved up quickly, I'd be an older supervisor," I responded, hoping my countenance didn't reveal my surprise.

Part-time, manual labor, late night hours at UPS.

I may be over-qualified.

Life is funny

I've been surprised at the vast array of emotions that have accompanied this move. Most of the time, my emotions are dominated by the adventurous side of me, and I feel the thrilling excitement of all new experiences. But occasionally, twinges of concern and fear rear their ugly heads. A few nights ago, we had good friends over for dinner and they reassured us that they would be a safe place for us during the exasperating moments. I had not fully considered the demands of a move like this until they mentioned it, but they were right - it's not always sunshine and ice cream.

Navigating a crowded city to find a gas station; searching the grocery store aisles for the peanut butter that had previously been on aisle 6, half-way down the right side; transferring bank accounts and license plates; dealing with a failed auto emissions test!; locating a new church; not to mention returning to an academic life from which I'm 10 years removed, finding jobs, and trying to sell a huge, old house with an exorbitant mortgage - this is not a small list on the stress charts.

And we're going through all of this with the looming possibility that the house will not sell, our savings will be depleted in a few months, and we'll be forced to leave Seattle for a more affordable area of the country (whad'ya say Pop and Grammy??).

So, I've found myself looking at old pictures of family, friends, and vacations hanging around our apartment, and they seem to bring some comfort and perspective. They remind me of all I have that's good in life. And as for the miserable memories, it's funny how I can easily forget them, or even remember them with a strange affection. And I'm sure that someday, I'll look back on this present time with nothing but fondness.

In the meantime, when the struggle becomes too intense, I'll remember the sagacious advice of an old friend, "Man, you just need to chill out and look at the clouds." - advice that's easily followed in this city...

The Accordian dude

I love this guy. He hasn't missed a night yet. (this is the musician I mentioned in an earlier post). I probably enjoy his music so much since I too play the accordian...or I used to...or I did once. I joined a three-piece ensemble for a traditional rendition of "O Tanenbaum" aka "O Christmas Tree" at a staff Christmas party a few years ago. I've performed in many ways and in many arenas, but none were as terrifying as playing that accordian. Perhaps it was because I knew that I had to maintain perfect concentration to continue playing. The right hand, the left hand, moving it all back and forth - it required coordination beyond my ability. My hands trembled throughout the first verse, but I made it through. Then, it all fell apart. My confidence had risen and I let my mind wander towards the audience. "I wonder how they're enjoying this?" I thought. Playing and thinking were too much. A few wrong notes and I was done. I couldn't get back on track and the ensemble finished as a duet.

You know you live in Seattle when...

- you experientially discredit the widespread belief that rain perpetually falls when after 10 days, it has only sprinkled once in the middle of the night. (But locals remind us the rain is coming… ☺).
- the slightly effeminate man you meet on the elevator introduces his dog as “Blue State,” because naturally he says, “the dog’s mother works as a fundraiser for the democratic party.” (I'm still trying to figure out if he was referring to himself as the mother.)
- you look out your balcony and the neighborhood crack addict is rifling through the trash, and of course, pulls out none other than a Starbucks beverage that she promptly finishes.
- same sex couples holding hands are as common as a cup of coffee.
- you begin to scoff at the camera-toting tourists flocking around the original Starbucks, waiting 15 minutes in line for their frappucinos. (They can easily walk to 6 other locations within 4 blocks and wait only 2 minutes.)
- the smell of Indiana pig farms or chicken in Arkansas no longer remind you of home. Now, the pungent stench of raw seafood at the market brings a familiar warmth to your heart.
- you're apartment is so small you're forced to hang your bicycles from your bedroom wall.
- you drive thirty minutes to find the nearest Wal-Mart, only to discover that it has not received the standard “Supercenter” upgrade. (Surprisingly though, that infamous Wal-Mart crowd never changes!)
- you remember each of the three overweight people you’ve seen in the last 10 days.
- you race up Queen Anne hill to a park with a crowded city overlook every evening to see if you can catch Mt. Rainier in all her sunset glory.
- the salmon ladder is a popular tourist spot. Who knew watching salmon literally jump up a man-made "staircase" from sea water to fresh water could be so exciting?
- the bank, video store, dry cleaners, market, and a plethora of restaurants are all within a one-block walk.

Warning: obligatory cheesy conclusion -
And you know you live in Seattle when you can't believe you get to experience such a great adventure!

Our Home (from the outside)

Here's some pics of our building. We'll take pictures of our apartment after we're more settled in. I'd rather not lead you to believe that we've assumed some sort of abstract contemporary style designated by the overuse of randomly placed cardboard boxes.





Our condo is on the third floor, just behind the first tree (directly up from the silver car). On the first floor corner is a Sushi restaurant, then the aforementioned Italian restaurant, a coffee shop (not Starbucks, although there are about 10 of them within as many blocks), and a Subway (sandwiches).

We haven't eaten at any of them yet, but if anyone comes to visit, we'll be glad to let you take us out!
And off to the left in the bottom picture, you can see the Puget Sound.

Little Italy

Every night, the aroma of garlic wafts up towards our balcony from the Italian restaurant two stories below, and with it, the charming melodies of an accordian. We have yet to see the person, but we love his music. Two nights ago, the cool breeze carried with it the theme from The Godfather and I almost spontaneously clapped my hands in excitement. With the sounds and smells, it really feels like I'm back in Italy again. Hopefully, the on-coming cold weather will chase him away just as our irritation begins :), but for now, we'll enjoy every moment!

Maybe I'll take a picture and post it tomorrow.

Seattleites

It hasn't sunk in yet. I'm not sure when it will.

As of now, it still seems like I'm here for another visit, and in a few days, I'll return home again. Perhaps that's because we're staying with Jason and Jenny Jost tonight. Our condo isn't available until tomorrow morning at 9:00, so our stuff remains packed in the UHaul. I guess when you're living out of a suitcase and staying with friends in a town that's never been your home, it makes sense why it doesn't feel like we've actually moved here. After tomorrow, when our belongings are in the apartment, the UHaul is returned, and Ashley and I lie down to sleep in our own bed, the reality may begin to sink in.

As we entered Washington this afternoon, we counted the number of states we've travelled through since June - eighteen. Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Missouri, Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, Idaho, Oregon, and Washington (and some of these we travelled to more than once!). I don't want to begin counting the miles, but with those hours on the road, we've seen some beautiful landscapes. But I was never as excited as I was nearing Seattle. Within 30-60 miles of reaching the city, we drove through the most beautiful landscapes we'd been through all summer. The huge, evergreen covered mountains of Snoqualmie/Mt. Baker National Forest were unbelievable - and better yet, they're in our new backyard. So, if you've already planned a visit this way, you can probably count on a short trip up into the mountains.

After dinner this evening, Ashley and I took the Jost's yellow lab, Mia, to a park along Lake Washington for some exercise. As I played catch, I looked over the trees, beyond the lake and there before us stood Mt. Rainier. It never ceases to impress, but this evening, as the fading sun glistened hues of pink and red off the snow covered mountain, I was particularly excited. Perhaps because the mountain is now somewhat mine to enjoy. No longer is it a tourist sight; it's now the view in my new city.

I wish I had pictures to share, but our camera battery ran out earlier in the day :(